“It’s going down tonight, Harry. Entrance Hall, midnight.”
Harry knew what the note was going to say even before he read it. The note arrived in the form of an enchanted paper airplane smacking him in the ear, and there were very few people who would dare to communicate with him in such a manner – not even Ron and Hermione were afforded that privilege. He looked down the table in the Great Hall at the guilty party – or parties as it were, since it was impossible to tell whether Fred or George had sent the missive, and of course neither one would even think to betray the other. Tonight was the night then. They joked that it was the night Harry was going to become a Weasley, and to a certain extent that was true, although Ron – already very much a Weasley – was also participating in whatever the night’s adventures held in store.
Harry and Ron were about to take part in an ancient Weasley brother tradition.
“Ancient Weasley brother tradition?” Harry asked when he was first told about it. “Bill’s not yet thirty, is he? How ancient can it be?”
“Ancient,” said George.
“Much further than Bill,” said Fred.
“Take a seat—“
“We are seated,” Ron interjected. The four of them were gathered alone around the fired in the Gryffindor Common Room, having played several games of Wizarding Chess while waiting for their classmates to drowsily wander up the stairs to bed. As it turned out, Ron truly was the undisputed champion.
George ignored the interruption and continued, “and listen as we tell you the tale of a tradition most ancient.”
“Long before Bill.”
“Long before our father.”
“So old that no one in fact knows how old it is. Dating perhaps to when the first Weasley set foot at Hogwarts.”
“Bill had it easy.”
“The first one always does.”
“First one?” Ron asked, confused.
“The first brother. Weasleys do tend to have a lot of children. Usually boys.”
“So the task gets passed on from brother to brother. Since it is now our seventh and, God bless us, final year at Hogwarts, we find ourselves charged with passing the task unto you. The oldest lucks out one would suppose, since he doesn’t have to actually do the task; he simply starts the chain anew one his father passes it on through word of mouth.”
“And what about the youngest then?” Ron asked, clearly most concerned about the parts of the tradition that involved him.
“Well, you, my dear brother, simply have to do whatever we tell you without the pride of knowing you’ll be able to pass on the task yourself.”
“Until of course you have a coterie of sons to pass on the tradition to.”
“God forbid Ronald Weasley reproduce.”
“Well, what about Ginny? Can’t I just pass it on to her?”
“Well, you see, it’s always been brothers.”
“But if you feel the need to include Ginny, then by all means do so.”
“But once you see what the task is, I think you’ll understand why it’s always only been the men of the family.”
Harry, of course, chose this moment to chime in. “Well, what is the task then?”
“Oh, Harry. You don’t honestly think we’d tell you ahead of time, do you?”
“Give you the chance to prepare?”
“Or better yet, chicken out?”
Thus, Ron and Harry were stuck waiting for the twins that night, long after the students were all required to be in their dormitories, feeling rather conspicuous and knowing that any minute, Snape or Umbridge was going to walk by and give them detention for life, and still having no idea what adventures awaited them. Fortunately, when they heard footsteps coming down the stairs, they belonged not to a professor but to Fred and George, and they figured that maybe this night would turn out all right after all. But still, what had they gotten themselves into?
Harry and Ron stared in amazement as the twins cast charm after charm on the giant front doors to the castle, undoubtedly undoing a series of locks and deactivating a series of alarms. Fred and George truly did know every way there was to sneak out of the castle. The twins, who had not yet spoken other than muttered incantations, motioned for Harry and Ron to follow them. Fred seemed to be the one taking charge, as if it made a difference, and led them toward the giant squid’s lake. They then hiked halfway around the lake, and the twins stopped suddenly at the dock furthest away from the castle. Harry stopped as well, only to have Ron slam directly into his back.
“Jesus, Ron!”
“What? How was I supposed to know we were stopping?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe open your eyes?”
Fred couldn’t help himself and started laughing with glee at Harry’s burn of Ron, so George took up the slack. “Now, now, children. Behave yourselves. It wasn’t particularly clear whether George was only talking to Harry and Ron, or perhaps Fred was meant to be scolded for his giddy laughter as well. Figuring it best to take the safe route, Fred regained his composure and separated Harry and Ron, who were busy taking turns punching each other in the arm.
“The task before you is simple,” Fred recited, as if he were giving a speech he had practiced many times (which he had).
Oh good, Harry thought. That eliminated battling the giant squid, or the merpeople, or the Grindylows. But then again, he had managed that pretty successfully the year before. “Do we get to find out what the task is now?” he asked
“Of course,” Fred replied, then he stopped for one final dramatic pause. “The task is to walk out to the end of the dock and jump in the lake.”
“What?!” That task was exceedingly simple.
“Completely starkers,” George clarified.
“The fully monty.”
“In the altogether.”
“In the nuddy.”
“The raw.”
“Nude, if you will.”
“Yes, yes, we get it, thank you,” groaned Harry, who never would get used to the twins rattling on with each other.
“So that’s all then? We skinny-dip in the lake and then it’s over?”
“Well, Ron, you’re the quick one, now, aren’t you? But yes, you jump in the lake and then we all go back to the castle and have a merry old time.”
The stripping was surprisingly unawkward for Harry and Ron; Ron was there with two of his brothers and his roommate of five years at Hogwarts, and Harry was well-practiced changing in front of the twins after years of Quidditch practices and matches. As they shed their robes, then their street clothes, Ron realized that the twins were not doing the same.
“No, no, this is your initiation,” Fred explained. “We need to stand watch here and make sure you complete the task satisfactorily. Then we‘ll follow behind you.”
“Hardly seems fair,” Ron muttered.
“That’s because it isn’t,” retorted George. “Until you remember that we had to do the same thing with Percy watching over us.”
Defeated – and admitting that Percy’s presence would make this experience supremely less enjoyable – Ron continued the undressing, then toed the end of the dock as Harry counted downward from three. They jumped in the water, surprised at how comfortably warm it was, and when they resurfaced, they turned back towards the dock expecting to see Fred and George shedding their clothes and following them into the water. Unfortunately, what they saw instead was the twins dashing back to the castle carrying Harry and Ron’s robes and all their clothes.
“Those mangy gits!” Ron shrieked in a tone Harry hadn’t thought possible. Before Harry knew what was happening, he saw Ron climbing out of the lake and streaking back to the castle after his brothers. Ron never was the sort of person who thought these things through before he did them.
